Well my time here in Cape Town has come to
an end. So much has happened, wisdom taught and lessons leant. Each day I must say that I sit and breathe in
and exhale whilst I take up the breathtaking view of the mountains that
surround this beautiful city.
We were confronted with a bit of a business
set back, but I look back on it now and think it was a blessing in
disguise. A whole document needed to be redone.
Instead of whining about it, we got to work on it. Now I look at it and think wow! This is a masterpiece,
a true reflection of what it is I am envisaging to achieve and to leave behind
my legacy.
People over the years; have come into my
life for various reasons, and I have come into theirs. The ones here in the Cape Town have come into
mine for significant reasons, all that I am truly grateful for and for all that
my life’s journey which has been paved before me.
There is Tim and Ramon both Kiwis’. Scott and I were sitting having lunch at a
coffee shop and they both walked past and came back to say hi. Neither knew I was back, I had met them both
before whilst here, and if it weren’t for that moment in time I would not be
leaving this magnificent country with a smile on my face. Tim is an ex-minister of the New Zealand
parliament and a genius in almost all areas of… well everything really. His time, effort and contribution into
helping me with my documents was priceless, and worth its weight in gold. Then there’s Ramon, a very influential and
connected Kiwi in South Africa. What a gem he is, his amazing hospitality and
genuine friendship was the perfect balance that kept things on track and
moving.
Both Tim and Ramon held a dinner party and introduced
us to the very famous Father Michael Lapsley.
The Rev. Michael Lapsley was born in New Zealand and
ordained in Australia. In 1973 he went to South Africa as a young Anglican
priest where he became chaplain to both black and white students at the very
height of apartheid oppression. He was elected National University Chaplain in
Durban in 1976, the year of the Soweto uprising in which many black school
children were shot and killed.
Fr. Michael
began using his public platform to speak out on behalf of students who had been
shot, detained, and tortured, and was soon was expelled from South Africa. He
spent the next 16 years in Zimbabwe as chaplain to the liberation movement in
exile and in April 1990, three months after Nelson Mandela’s release from
prison, he was sent a letter bomb from agents of the South African apartheid
regime, disguised as religious literature. In the blast, he lost both hands,
the sight of one eye, and was severely burned.
In 1993, after
returning to South Africa, Fr. Michael became chaplain of the Trauma Centre for
Victims of Violence and Torture in Cape Town and in 1998 he formed the
Institute for Healing of Memories. The Institute offered crucial support to
address the emotional and spiritual needs of survivors of apartheid and has
since worked with victims of war, violence, and genocide in places like Rwanda,
Burundi, Northern Ireland, Sri Lanka, and East Timor. In South Africa, the
Institute now works with people with HIV/AIDS, prisoners, victims of
gender-based violence, and refugees. Recently, it has begun training the staff
of an agency in East Harlem, New York City, which operates a shelter for
abused, disabled women.
Fr. Michael’s
own experience of inner healing has helped him connect with people in countless
cultures who experience systemic violence and personal pain. He challenges
individuals and communities to move through a journey of healing towards
forgiveness and reconciliation. He has been awarded an Honorary Doctorate by
the University of KwaZulu Natal in recognition of his work in South Africa and
around the world.
Father Michael says of his own experiences, "I have travelled the journey from
being a freedom fighter, to being a healer. And in some small measure, my
journey reflects the journey of South Africa. There was a time to slay the
monster of apartheid. But now that we have democracy, it is time to heal, to
reconcile, to rebuild.”
Through his own experience of living in
exile, losing both hands and an eye in a letter bomb attack in 1990, and after
listening to the stories of the survivors whom he counselled at the Trauma
Centre, Fr Michael realised the importance of giving people a space in which
their experiences could be shared and acknowledged.
Father Michael has conducted many workshops.
The purpose of the workshops was to facilitate reconciliation between different
racial groups and to heal emotional wounds, in order so that individuals might
contribute positively towards the reconstruction of South Africa.
Requests for healing of memories workshops are
continually received from a range of groups who highlighted the fact that the
workshops had the potential for much wider application than the initial focus
on healing apartheid wounds.
Father Michael also developed a Youth
Development Program, dedicated to enabling young people to learn about and from
South Africa’s history. The special ‘Facing the Past, Facing Ourselves’
workshops seek to motivate young people to actively participate in shaping a
society where the rights and freedoms of each individual are respected and
upheld.
Fr Michael has become a much loved and
respected international advocate for reconciliation, forgiveness and
restorative justice, and is frequently in demand overseas to run workshops and
deliver talks and sermons.
The workshop has grown out of South Africa’s
unique history and the need remains attentive to how the divided past can
impact on us both individually and as communities and a nation.
I personally believe that when personal stories
are heard and acknowledged, individuals feel healed and empowered.
Through deep listening and meaningful sharing, human relationships can be
transformed and restored. This is one
thing I have always believed and having met Father Michael and hearing his
stories and where he is now and what he is doing is absolutely amazing, and I
am ever so grateful to have met him and he come into my life. The methodology in which he delivers his
workshops is something I wish to learn and to implement back home as well.
18th March 2012. This was to be a very special day, the most
romantic for me to say the least….ever! My
partner Scott had woken up literally bouncing off the walls and excited about
the trip to the very famous Robben Island.
The once home to Nelson Mandela for many of his 27 years of
imprisonment. Scott had packed a picnic
lunch and we headed off to the waterfront for breakie and then boarded the
ferry over to the island.
Once we arrived there I thought I would have
had the same feelings when I entered the slave museum, that ghastly sickly
feeling. But no, it was far from that, the
island to me had a nice feeling, one that could be defined as a sense of hope
and victory, and it had awe about it. We
boarded the bus that took us around the island, our tour guide was quite a
character, the immediate feeling I had from all the locals we met on the island
was that Robben Island represented and signified “Victory”, the victory of
human spirit and triumph over the struggle.
The history of the Island is just amazing; we
stopped at this one place called the ‘Limestone Quarry’ where prisoners of the
Island, including Mandela came every day from sunrise to sunset. Although they were told that they were
digging the quarry for limestone for the roads, this was not true. There was no purpose to anything, but was
simply meaningless digging! And so they did this for many, many years to try
and break a man’s spirit. This it did
not do to some!
The limestone quarry was also where Mandela
and so many prisoners exchanged a lot of ideas, and they continued to educate each
other. There was a cave in the wall of the quarry, which they affectionately
called "The University." It is where newly arrived political
prisoners worked side-by-side with the "old-timers" to mine stone,
but at the same time, they were schooled in ANC and South Africa history,
political ideologies and tactics, and it is where they planned for the future,
for a free South Africa.
We stopped for a while at a place directly overlooking Cape Town, a magnificent view of the city with Table Mountain and Lion’s Head Mountain forming the backdrop, while the sky took on a nice hue as the day came closer to evening. What a torment for the prisoners on this little piece of rock, to be able to gaze at such a fine scene every day and be so close. Some daring, or rather desperate, souls tried to swim and escape, but only a handful ever made it across to land; the rest having fallen victim to sharks or the cold waters.
During the whole tour, our guide gave us a
superb, running commentary on all the sights. At the end, we were treated to a
speech about the island, and “Mr Mandela” and the hopes for his country, which
still faces numerous problems in this day, including the effects of apartheid.
The last part of the tour was the maximum
security prison, where we got off the bus, said our goodbyes to our guide, and
walked inside, passing the empty guard towers and signs showing happy pictures
of joyful ex-prisoners, leaving the prison for good, and then coming back to
the jail for a reunion. Inside, our new guide was there and ushered us into a
long cell room, which was quite roomy. Of course it had to be because it held
60 prisoners.
Our guide was an ex-prisoner, having served
14 years in Robben for sabotage and being involved in the ANC militant wing.
Ex-inmates always lead this part of the tour. It seems weird that they’d want
to work in the very place they were locked up. It appeared though that those leading
these tours serves as a form of pride or solace, to help turn their former
prison into a place to educate tourists and visitors.
One thing that stayed with me that day were
the words from our ex-prisoner guide, “Thank
you for coming to acknowledge and respect our past. Please diagnose the history and take it with
you. We have had to build new bridges to
reflect on the past and do this so our children can walk over for a better
future. Please pay your respect to the survivors, and please spread the message
of Good Will”.
I can’t deny that the touristy aspect of the tour didn’t take away from fully appreciating the historical significance of the prison. We finally saw the cell Mandela was kept, which was nondescript, small (about 2.5 metres wide), and had no toilet. It was so cold, but it was amazing to think an amazing man, resided here and to only enter into freedom with no feeling of hatred.
So now as we were exiting the island and
walking towards the boat for our departure, Scott whisked me away to a near by
table located under a beautiful big tree.
He knelt down on one knee. Looked
me in my eyes and said “It’s been one
year to the day since I laid eyes on you, you have made me very happy and I
love you. Will you marry me”? My eyes welled up with tears; it was one
of the happiest days of my life. It was
perfect. He then took a ring box out of his pocket and opened the box. There before my eyes one whole carrot
diamond. The ring has 13 diamonds. 13 being the number that comes so often that
brings me luck. Olympic gold, day 13 of
the Olympics. I wore number 13, Commonwealth gold September 13th; my
number was 1075, which adds up to 13.
A couple walked past and yelled out
‘congratulations’. People might think
it’s a little odd to have been proposed to on a prisoner’s island. But to the people of South Africa the
signifance of Robben Island was this; “While
we will not forget the brutality of apartheid we would not want Robben Island
to be a monument of our hardship and suffering. We would want it to be a
triumph of the human spirit against the forces of evil. A triumph of wisdom and
largeness of spirit against small minds and pettiness. A triumph of courage and
determination over human frailty and weakness”. - Ahmed Kathrada 1993
For me to have been proposed to was just
amazing. There was an island that people
were sent to because of the supremacy of white South Africa, and here was a
white man, getting down on one knee to propose his love and devote his life to
a black woman. There are so many synergies that I became the happiest person I
believe that day.
On our return back to Cape Town we both had a
chuckle as we reflected upon the day and recalled what our tour guide said as
we passed the Anglican Church on the Island to which he said “Many people come
to the Island and get married or redo their vows, as Robben Island is
acknowledged as a place where you are committing to a LIFE sentence! So men, is
this truly what you want? You should think about it!” a wise crack I think, I
guess that was what Scott was getting himself into! A place of true significance.
What a trip it has been. I walk away now with knowledge and friendships as well as 5 programs to implement back into my girls academies.
All these programs have been designed
exclusively for my academy. I have come
across and met so a many people that have influenced me in such a way that I have
now a completely different perspective a and appreciation of life, with
reconciliation and forgiveness, I have been shown ways to move forward d and to bring others along at the same time.
I wish to thank all my South African sisters
and brothers that have had a major influence in my life thus far and have
helped me become a better person, and given me a greater outlook in life. My journey would not have been a success
without my fiancé Scott who has been the rock here for me. There have been
countless times I have cried and missed my children, but it has been fantastic
that they have all been kept well and I know one thing I am looking forward to
seeing the ‘big red kangaroo’. Take me
home!
Not only have I come to this magnificent
country to have my programs developed for the girls academy, this has been a
journey that has enlightened me in so many ways. It is a part of my life that
is so significant and one that I am very grateful for.
